File Discovered on Laptop in Possession of Suspect

I thought our date was going so well right up until the moment her ear fell off.

No, wait.

That's no way to begin this, it makes it sound like some story or something. If I have time, I'll rewrite this.

Let me start over:

My name is Harold Davis, Harry, and I am going to kill myself.

My actions will likely be labeled as “insanity” and that may well be true. I hope it's true. I don't think I am crazy, but I wish to God that I was. I hope my friends and family understand I am doing this for them. I choose to die so that they might live.

For whoever finds this letter, please see that it reaches the local authorities immediately. The information contained herein is of the utmost importance to the continued survival of the human race.

This is not making any sort of sense. I have too much to say and not much time to say it. I'm going to have to be brief, but I'm going to take things in order as much as possible. I can only hope that the shotgun laying across my lap is capable of fully removing my head.

Please accept my heartfelt apologies for the mess I am going to leave.